Control persons are often perfectionists defending themselves against their own inner vulnerabilities in the belief that if they are not in total control they risk exposing themselves once more to childhood angst. Such persons manipulate and pressure others to change so as to avoid having to change themselves, and use power over others to escape an inner emptiness. When a control freak's pattern is broken, “the
Controller is left with a terrible feeling of powerlessness ... but feeling their pain and fear brings them back to themselves.
Every child is different, but for me it had profound effects throughout my life, and still does. It took me years to process what happened to me. When someone doesn't show, you love, you don't learn to love. That doesn't even include the physical abuse, mental abuse, or sexual abuse. Permanently walking away from my abuser helped me the most, but I think any child will have long term effects.